I haven't posted on here in over a year. Kids, Jobs, People got in the way, you know life. But i think if i don't send some of these rants out into the void i will lose my mind.
All my life i've played fair, done the right thing, lived by the golden rule. I tell people i'm terminally nice. I can't help it. I'm trying to learn to be more assertive. Stand up for myself. Well, in this last year I stood up for myself. I was right, i was. And i got screwed. My supervisor was not doing her job, a job that had to get done, so i stepped up as the person that had the most experience and with the help of the other part of the team, did the job. I did it better. I worked hard, did my thing. Then the write-ups false ones, started coming in. I was excessively late, but we weren't allowed to pull keys before 7 and the two time clocks didn't match. I was rude and demanding. If you know me you know i'm terminally nice. They tried to suspend me without pay for three days. I told the agency i worked for i was being harassed, they said this was their biggest account, they weren't going to do anything. I talked to the other company, they said it was the temp agencies problem. So, i smiled, and took it. I watched my p's and q's. Then the supervisor got a better paying job. Nice... ok it will get better i thought. I even interviewed for the supervisor's position. I had the training, I had the experience. I could have walked into that job and had everything running smooth. Guess what they of course didn't hire me. They hired someone that had no experience. When they accused me of trying to steal a bible i had been told to put in my desk. Of course the supervisor "didn't recall telling me that" I quit. I hated that. I loved my job. I even liked the people i was working for. But i was starting to have panic attacks at work from the uber critisim.
I know there are reasons for things in life. But times are hard, I'm making it through. The depression is the worst. I've dug myself out so many times. I've interviewed for one other job there and nothing. It makes me want to stomp my foot like a little kid and yell "It's not fair!". And i hate feeling like that.
I'm the kind of person that thinks get over it and go on with your life. I don't want bad things to happen to those people. I just want my job back or a better one.
There are days where all i want to do is sleep. I don't have as much patience with my children as i should.
Money is tight. Christmas was almost my undoing. My family was the only thing that got me through. I'm taking classes online,trying to make myself better educated. The want ads are not helping me. When i finally get to an interview, i have to explain why i left the other job. I think that me telling them i was harassed doesn't work. I'm so frustrated all the time. There are times when i just want to go away, just for awhile, so that no one is asking me for something, money doesn't matter. I'm the one everyone complains to. I don't like to complain to anyone. I hope no one reads this anymore.
