Fellow ship.....

I grew up in the church. I was born on a Wednesday, and I think my first Sunday was in church. I was there almost every Sunday, Wednesday, and revival meeting. I love the family. I love the atmosphere. I love the culture itself. I remember going to Vacation Bible School every summer and drinking it all in. I loved the way they told stories. One time, when I was about twelve my pastor's wife let me tell part of the story. I was one of three in my church that got the privilege. When it was my turn I went so far into the story and got so carried away I told most of the other persons story.

Sometimes I think in sermon outlines. Sounds funny, but it's true. I will be reading a scripture and there it will be in my head. Or worse, I will be listening to a preacher, and see a different sermon. Then it's very hard to concentrate. My brain keeps yelling, nooo you missed the whole point.

So, I taught children. When I was in college I used to find it so amusing. You get the boys up that want to be preachers, in front of kids, they are terrified. You see kids are deathly blunt. If you are boring, they will tell you, in the middle of your service, in the middle of you sentence.
I love it. I love telling stories and seeing them understand the meaning behind it.
Let me tell you now if you are in a church, and you have a children's church. You need to go right now and hug them and give them a day off.

A couple of years ago I work as a children's church director, well I did everything. I tried asking for help, but the church was just so happy that someone would take care of it they just forgot, or turned a blind eye. I got so burned out. They would bus children in and then, just hand them over. Which I thought was a privilege, but I would ask for just people to come sit in the pews with the children. I remember one summer there was 40 children from the ages of 3 to 13. I know it was mostly my own fault, but I finally could not go on any more. I had to quit. I hated it, but i had to. And then I left that church. It wasn't the people of the church, it was me, I needed some kind of spiritual food.

I still miss teaching children. I miss telling bible stories. I lost a lot of my faith through the years. More so in people than religion. I've written this post in my mind over and over. Debated about posting it. I work very hard to "work out my own salvation through Christ" but it's been so difficult. I used to go to bible study with these wonderful women. I miss them something horrible. I need fellowship... friendship with women, I'm having a hard time find it. I envy people with a ladies ministry in there church. Have any of you ever felt this way?